When Visaka Dharmadasa shuts her eyes, she's right back with the rebels of Sri Lanka.

For two decades, the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam have waged a rebellion costing more than 64,000 lives in this island off the coast of India. Desperate for news of her middle son, missing in action, Visaka had pled for word of his fate.

"I kept writing but received no reply. I sent messages through the Norwegian ambassador and the International Red Cross. Finally, at the height of the war, I went into Tiger territory. I took seven women with me, and no men. We spent five days and nights in a church. We wanted to build trust with the rebels, and tell them we appreciated that they hadn't used women as weapons of war."

Petite, with flowing hair, this energetic matron insists that because she's a woman, she can "look the rebels in the eye." She says that after meeting the Tigers in their own stronghold, she began to understand them. Even though her eldest son is serving in the government army, "I'm concerned for the Tiger soldiers' lives," she admits. "I call the rebels 'Son.' " The insurgents later invited Visaka to witness the POW release. It was the first time they had included anyone from "the other side."

"The ceremony was held where one of my sons went missing. I waited until dawn's light before crossing into rebel territory so no one would mistake me for an army soldier. I made a speech. The top Tiger military and political leaders were there. They heard a mother's voice calling for peace. Tears streamed down my face, but the speech was powerful, asking for an end to bloodshed."

Visaka's appeals were heard not just by rebels; government leaders and the international community took notice, too. She believes her action, in a small way, was a step toward negotiations.

This mother transformed her grief into action. She launched a signature campaign to build awareness of the war's costs—not just the shattered economy, but of lives lost. The petition targeted government leaders who had sidelined Norwegian-sponsored peace talks in favor of all-out war. Visaka's volunteers gathered 70,000 signatures. In a protest rally, thousands marched, shouting "We don't want, we don't want, we don't want this war." Reporters and photographers "hung from the buildings and the tree tops," to cover the story. The marchers presented the petition to the Norwegians and the Sri Lankan government, to compel them to resume talks.

Visaka has also built a network of grieving women to demand that soldiers of both armies wear tags, so their remains can be identified. In the political sphere, she has launched "Conflict Transformation Dialogues" for civic leaders not included in official peace negotiations.
Influential men and women from both sides brainstorm solutions on issues fundamental to the conflict, such as land control, economic development, and shared political power. She says these dialogues are crucial "to push the government back to the negotiating table."

Recent news reports from Sri Lanka have been discouraging, at best. In a political power struggle, President Kumaratunga has suspended Parliament, fired three cabinet members allied with her archrival, the prime minister, and declared a temporary state of emergency. After years of negotiations, face-to-face peace talks with Tamil Tiger rebels are once again on hold.

The president says the prime minister is too soft on the Tigers. Visaka disagrees. The Tiger's demands are open for negotiation," she says. "You ask for more because you know you'll have to settle." Not only that, she adds, "The prime minister may have to make even more concessions."

In dark moments like these, Visaka remembers mothers of missing soldiers who call at all hours of the day and night, asking, "What have you heard? Where is my son?" Although she's in the public eye, in her private moments she wonders the same. One child in the government barracks, the other lost in rebel territory. When I ask why she is doing this work, she pauses, then says, "Because I have a child on each side."

As political leaders struggle over control of the country, Visaka's message to them is loud and clear: Your squabbling is threatening the peace and risking a return to war. We've lost enough children already.

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